Fire Your Relatives. Scare Your Employees. And Stop Whining! an article by Kermit Pattison

"It's not the economy, stupid, it's you" so says George Cloutier in the article by Kermit Pattison.  According to the article George Cloutier is the chief executive of American Management Services and has recently published  a book titled "Profits Aren't Everything, They're the Only Thing".  In the article Kermit Pattison paints a picture of a cut and dry, compassionless approach to business.  Things along the lines of "fear is the best motivator."  I think the part that struck a chord with me was when the interviewer got to the part of his book covering family.

Q. You say, "Love your business more than your family." What does your wife think of that?

A.Well, she loves me, but I'm not sure she would always agree with that.  I'm not saying don't love your family.  But if you don't love your business as much as your family, your  probability of success is very much lower. Sometimes you just have to put the business ahead of family considerations.

They interview some more and talked about how he has been married three times sporadically over a 63 year period, with no children.

Q. One might argue it's easier for you to take these hard-line positions because you haven't had to balance family considerations.

A. I would be the first one to say it probably is easier.  But the reality is, if you're not fully  committed and prepared to sacrifice what many of us would view as the traditional family role, you have a much higher probability of failing in a small business.

As harsh as it sounds, I can say from my own years of experience how true these statements are.  I can also say, that through the years David and I have figured out how to make it work.  David called today a little stressed about an approaching deadline and I realized that I have been demanding more family time from him than usual.  Sometimes it is necessary to demand a little extra, but a little extra family time always seems to have unfortunate results for his workload. In our home business usually (read: always....but David hates it when I "speak in absolutes") comes first.  It's very much a "if you only worked 12 hours today, you only worked half a day," type of environment.  When people ask me where David is, the answer will always be: working.   I realized today that I have to do better standing on my own.  As a woman married to a workaholic you have to find the balance between drawing them out of work, and not hindering their work.  You must always be supportive, because they are already under enough stress as it is. I've come to realize that it's important to not be a contributing factor to that stress.  My job is to help him succeed by being supportive in countless ways.  Don't get me wrong, I'm no door mat, and if you knew me, the very thought is completely laughable....my husband would be in hysterics.  This is what I signed up for when I married my wonderful Husband!  He is a entrepreneur and I help him live his dream, in return he helps me live my dream of being a stay at home mom with three beautiful children.  Plus he is the nicest, sweetest, most thoughtful husband anyone could ever ask for.  We help fulfill each others' dreams! Sometimes he says silly things like "When we (we would be him and his business partner) sell the business I will settle down and we can start traveling.  HA! That always makes me laugh because as soon as he sells this business, he will just start another one. It's who he is, it's what he lives and breathes. I know his ultimate dream is to become a venture capitalist. One thing I have is Date Night.  My husband makes date night a priority and we have date night every Friday night without fail! Sometimes I feel like an alien creature sitting in Relief Society.  I feel like my marriage has tempered me into a completely different metal than the other women sometimes. We are all women made of metal of course....I just feel like my metal is of a different sort. I don't have any relatives to fire or employees to scare (now where are the kids?....it's fun to scare them!......), but I can always stop whining!

Not so Happy Valentines Day....

Chase and Isabelle came home from school today very upset (Isabelle more than Chase.....it take a whole lot to make Chase upset).  There will not be any Valentines Day party in their classes this year.  Only Lilly's class will be having a party.  Isabelle's teacher told them they were only having a Halloween, Christmas, and End of Year party.  Isabelle complained loudly and passionately the whole way home how horrible her teacher was treating her and how awful her situation was.  Meanwhile, Lilly is next to her sobbing about how her whole class has "silent lunch" for the whole week!! even though she didn't do anything (which she probably didn't).  The car started to sound like gigantic dissonant song sung in a horrible round until finally as we pulled into the driveway I said (erm.....loudly said....well...I might have yelled ever so gently...)"THAT'S ENOUGH"!! I turned around and said to the kids "We have three things to discuss".  "First, all of the teachers have had their pay decreased this year.  That means they don't make as much money and perhaps they have decided they don't want the expense a party will bring.  Second,  many people besides teachers are not making as much money and they might not be able to afford to buy valentines day cards".  I could see the fire go out of Isabelle's eyes and she and Chase both kinda said "Oh".  "Third, Lilly when you get home you can sit at the table and talk as much as you want to make up for not talking at the lunch table.  Will that make it better"?  Lilly thought about it for a minute and decided that this was an acceptable solution and dried her tears.  We discussed some of these issues for a little bit and what they meant and I answered any questions the kids had.  I don't think my kids are ungrateful for the life their father provides. Nor or they in anyway spoiled.  Trust me, they get told "No" allllllllll the time.  I think it is more that sometimes I have to remind them that what they consider the baseline for normalcy is not always accurate.

Whatcha Say?

I love that song by Imogen Heap called "Hide and Seek."  It's totally stuck in my head right now.  It's part of my "cooldown" playlist I use while I stretch after working out at the gym.  I also play it sometimes in the car.  So the first time I played it in the car my youngest daughter Lilly loved it, she thought is was sooooo beautiful, which it is.  You should go check it out if you are into moody girly music.. Fiona Apple, Adele, Ingrid Michaelson, that type of stuff.  Chase and Isabelle however were in the back of the car convulsing with agony during the whole song.  So, I tell them, "since you guys can't appreciate good music, you are going to have to listen to it again!"  The wailing and nashing of teeth!!!!  Seriously you would have thought the song made their ears bleed or something.    So I busted out "Whatcha Say" by Jason Derulo from my "workout" playlist who took the chorus of "hide and seek" and pimped it out into a song that was much more to their liking.  From that day forth all the kids like to hear both the songs one after another! 

I'm going CRAZY!!!!

I'm officially going crazy today.  I have had kids home sick since Tuesday and there will be another one home sick tomorrow.  Now, I have nothing against kids being home sick but what I can't handle very well is no gym time or karate.  My typical week consists of 3 mornings at the gym and 3 evenings at karate. It's very invigorating and relaxing!  (might I add that I am missing sparring tonight, very depressing).   So tomorrow, I am determined to do my standard fall back when I can't get out of the house.  Power Yoga!!! On Video!!!  Then maybe I won't feel like I'm turning into a fuzzy noodle.

TaDA!!  And here I am in my semi-vegetative state (scary).  Laying on the sofa this evening as I type this. Wow, I didn't even put on any make-up today.....or do my hair.  This is bad.  OooooK, I think I off to go do some yoga right now!  Might I point out the standard jacket that I am wearing?  David is always making fun of me for wearing a jacket ALL the time.   I always tell him they are like portable security blankets...that you can wear!!  It doesn't get any better than that. Hee!  Well, I'm off to de-fuzz....

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow!

So Chase got a hair cut last week, he looked totally awesome for his belt test.  It's always a little funny when he gets his hair cut.  He looks so different, last year his teacher momentarily thought she had a new student.

Before:

 

During:

 

After:

A lot of the time he likes to grow it out because then his hair hides his hearing aides.  But this time around when I asked him how he wanted his hair he said he wanted it cut all the way down, "like Ernie and Nigel's hair".  Which it a-ok with me!  Now that personal grooming is %100 his responsibility I think he has decided that short hair it much easier than a big fro to take care of.

Karate Belt Test! KiYa!

Chase, Lilly, and I all Belt tested last Friday in Karate.  Chase earned his Advanced Blue Belt.  Lilly earned her Purple Belt.  And I earned my Blue Belt.  We are at the Karate Studio M, Tue, W, and Thur. Sometimes I think of adding Friday...but that's date-night....and also,possibly, might be overkill.....maybe...

Here is Lilly at the start of  her test. She really has a lot of fun with karate.  It's really cute on Monday's how she switches from her Karate Uniform to her Ballet clothes.  She loves them both.  She is in the Little Dragon's Class for ages 4-7. 
 

 

BACKFIST!!

  

This is Mr. Zach one of the Karate instructors, presenting Lilly's belt.  (Mr. Zach rocks by the way!  Totally one of my favorite instructors.)

 

Lilly has been tying her belt all by herself for quite some time.  For her age it's actually pretty awesome especially since she ties it correctly.

 

Lilly's officially Purple! She has been very excited to advance to her purple belt. 

 

She wanted a picture of the two of use before I tested for my blue belt since we were both purple belts....... at least for about an hour!

Chase's test was going on at the same time as Lilly's so I was having to run back and forth between the two.  In fact, you can see Lilly in the back of the picture on the other mat!  Chase is in the Child's Class which is ages 8-12.

 

Chase really love's Karate and is very good at it.  I don't just say that because I'm his mother either.  He really is very talented.  Unfortunately I was too busy managing two test to get any really cool pictures of him.  So you will just have to take my word for it!  

 

Here are Ms Kailey and Mr Ryan conferring with each other to see if the kids passed or failed the test. Usually everyone passes.  They don't let you test if they don't think you will pass  but I have been to a few tests where someone didn't pass.  I've even been in a test were a fellow team mate didn't pass.  They don't just hand you the belt.  You gotta earn it!

 

Everyone passed and here they are putting on their new belts!

 

 

Here's Chase with Ms Kailey and Mr Ryan, officially an advanced blue belt!  The belt's a little long so they are ordering him a smaller size.....It's all they way past his knees..Hee!  Ms. Kailey is Mr. Zach's Sister and is every bit as awesome!  Mr Ryan is the owner of the studio and provides a wholesome and positive environment for the kids and for us adults.

I don't really have any pictures of my test. I'm in the adult class which is ages 13 and up.  About half way through the word "waaaaaater" kept running through my head.  A test always has your form that you memorize (that's like a dance routine karate style!!.....they hate when I call it a routine, ha! Hey, I'm going to go practice my routine *jazz hands*)  Then you have to verbally say and then do three predetermined combination ( a series of punches and kicks done quickly in order).  Last you have one-steps which are basically take-down maneuvers that you verbally memorize and say and then execute on a partner. And then you review every punch, kick, and block that you are suppose to know (and of course do each one as many times as they tell you to or make it a jump x, or a spinning x, or a step-over x, or a jump spinning x,  or a jump step-over spinning x, you get the point.) Depending on who is giving the test, sometimes there are tons of push-up, jumping jacks, sit-ups, squats, etc. etc.    But this test had quite a lot of lower belts so they went pretty easy and we only had to do 50 or so crunches.   Just a quick note Chase had to do everything I mention above except the one-steps.  They don't do those in the child class (my guess is it's something along the lines of not wanting children flipping each other over their hips, or putting each other in step under arm locks to deliver round kicks to the face, it takes a lot of control not to hurt someone).  Everything else he has to do on a test.  So his tests are very challenging also. So that's a belt test, a lot of memorization, a lot of endurance, a lot of practice, and a lot of fun!